Why House-elves shouldn't go on Strike.
by CharlieMistry
Summary: Hermoine goes over the top with S.P.E.W and so the house elves go on strike. Dumbledore makes Snape the new chef but what calamities will happen to the guy with Nought food experiences and Gilderoy lockhart endlessly bothering him.


Why House-Elves shouldn't go on Strike.  
  
Hello my favorite peoples! I thought up a lovely story while I was washing the knives and forks and stuff after dinner! And here it is!  
Disclaimers: I don't own any of the stuff in this story... Except for the exploded Spagetti steps shapes... They are mine... But I was the one that managed to make them explode in the Microwave....  
  
"Hermoine, We told you not to bother with S.P.E.W! No one cares!" Ron said as Hermoine was collecting money for House Elves.  
"Ron does have a point. Besides, House-elves like Work... with the exception of Dobby but he's just a lone nut!" Harry agreed.  
"Like you, come to think Of it Herm!" Ron laughed.  
"That's it! I'm going to tell the Elves to go on Strike! It's not fair for them to slave for us for no reason! I'm letting them go!" Hermoine shouted.  
"But hermoine! If we've told you once, We've told you Twice, We've told you a million times! House elves like work!" Harry laughed.  
"Don't care!" Hermoine said tickling the picture of the pear opening up the kitchen.  
"Harry Potter! Look everyone! Harry Potter's back to see Dobby!" Dobby shouted running to Harry.  
"I can't believe we are putting up with this." Harry sighed.  
"Everyone! My House Elf freinds! I have something to say!" Hermoine shouted.  
"Oh, Here we go!" Ron sighed.  
"House-Elves need to be treated with Proper Respect! You should Strike! Strike! Strike!" hermoine shouted standing on a counter.  
"Strike! Strike! Strike!" The house-elves chanted.  
"Yes! You are going to burst into the Main hall and tell them what you want! You want a good pay or you're out! Also, You won't work untill you get what you want!" Hermoine shouted.  
"YEAH!!!!" The elves shouted running to the hall.  
"Oh no! What are the house elves doing in here?" Dumbledore shouted.  
"We want Wages! Big Wages! Lot's of money and Good clothes!!!" The elves shouted.  
"We can't do that! The school doesn't have that much!" Dumbledore told them.  
"We won't work then!" One elf shouted.  
The arguement carried on and eventually the elves ran outside to chase each other through the forbidden forest.  
"What are we going to do now?" Dumbledore asked the teachers as all the students had gone to thier common rooms.  
"We need someone to cook for us." Mcgonagall panicked.  
"The muses tell me that the cook... Will be... Will be..." Trelawney hooted.  
"Snape! You teach Potions and I'm sure that cooking a little bit of food will be nothing compared to a complicated potion!" Dumbldore smile.  
"No! No way!" Snape shouted.  
"There is no other way, Severus!" Dumbledore said.  
"Fine!!! But I will not have any of you offend how dumb I look in an apron!" Snape shouted.  
"We offend you enough for how seldomnly you wash your hair!" Gilderoy Lockhart shouted(He was the new DADA teacher as he had got his memory back.)  
"Shut up Lockhart!" Snape muttered.  
"Let's all go to bed and you can cook lunch tommorow as everyone is sleeping through breakfast!" Dumbledore smiled, "It is sunday anyway. Everyone always sleeps untill before lunch!"  
"Oh Joy." snape said sarcastically.  
Everyone went to bed. Not everyone went to sleep though. Snape was too busy reading up on cookery. It looked easy enough. He was also glad that the naked Chef wore clothes. He was also thankfull that Lockhart hadn't written a book called something stupid like 'Coping with Cooking' Or 'Cooking with Cauldrons'.  
Eventually he fell asleep on a recipe for Pixie Cakes(He mostly read that one to irritate Lockhart later).  
He woke up with the page sticking to his face.  
"What? Where am I?" He shouted. Then he removed the book from his face and pretended that he hadn't shouted. He put the book somewhere and shortly Lockhart burst through the door.  
"Morning Sev!!!" he shouted thickly.  
"Morning Gilderoy." Snape said sarcastically, Pretending to read the pixie cake recipe.  
"What are you reading about?" Gilderoy asked nosily.  
"Oh, P-I-X-I-E Cakes." Snape said hiding a smile.  
"Oh... That's nice...." Gilderoy shuddered.  
Gilderoy left and snape was ready to get changed. He changed into his favorite black robes and trousers. Then he decided to start cooking early.  
He went in the kitchen and started cooking some Pixie cakes since he remembered the recipe off by heart.  
He finished the Pixie cakes(Which by the way went black and crumbly) and also finished some Steps shaped spagetti hoops(Which exploded all over him)  
Everything was going wrong and it was very nearly Lunch time. No one would eat any of the food but then he had a great idea.  
"Patience everybody! Our Cook will have finished the food soon enough!" Dumbldore shouted in the hall a while later.  
"Hello everyone! Sorry it took so long! On the menu we have: Cheese burgers, Hamburgers, French Fries, Veggie burgers, Egg Muffins, Ice Cream, Apple Pies, Donuts, Hot Dogs, Chicken Nuggets, Milkshake, Coca cola, Apple Tango, Orange Tango, Lemonade and more!" snape said.  
"YYYYYAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone shouted. A Few minutes later when everyone was tucking into thier food, Lockhart started to compliment Snape.  
"This is great food! I can't believe someone with such out-dated hair could cook so good!" Lockhart said as a compliment.  
"I think it's pretty good!" snape said picking up a french fry.  
"Why are the Fries in a funny packet with an M on?" Lockhart asked.  
"What? Oh.... My family trade mark?" snape said.  
"Your family name begins with S." Lockhart pointed out.  
"Fine it's.... Mcgonagalls family symbol but she had trouble with the photo copier and messed up some packets!" snape insisted.  
"I'm sure I saw a picture like this in the muggle world... And there was this guy called... I've forgotten his name! Oh Yes! ronald Mcdonald!" Lockhart shouted so everyone could hear.  
"He obviously has been eating his own cooking! Ignore him!" snape lied.  
"I'm glad I made those house-elves go on Strike! Snape is a much better cook!" Hermoine said. Then everyone carried her off chanting 'Hermoine got our perfect cook! Hail Hermoine!' and stuff to that effect.  
"How did you learn to cook so well?" Gilderoy asked Severus.  
"Oh... Okay Fine! I didn't! I ordered food from McDonalds!" Snape shouted so everyone could hear.  
"WHO CARES? THIS FOOD BEATS ELF FOOD ANYDAY!!!" everyone shouted.  
  
Then everyone lived well fedly ever after.  
  
Thankies for Reading, Please R+R!   
Chiru-Chan! 


End file.
